I don't know what to do. I hate not knowing. Constantly being unsure about how my condition will be tomorrow, next week, next month. Lately my skin has been flaring for the past month. Some days are better than others. But even those days seem bleak. I try to maintain as normal a life as I can, but most days I just want to hide away in shame. I hate looking and feeling this way. This withdrawal is taking everything out of me. I am on the verge of tears most days. However crying won't make this go away. It's eating away at me. I just want to live a normal life. One of the worst parts is just not knowing. How long will this be? How much longer do I have to suffer? And what degree of suffering most I endure?
I know I'm not the only one going through this. But I feel so alone in this. I try to hide this from my friends as much as possible, but there's only so much I can hide.
Right now my face and neck are red and the dreadful ooze has returned. I had a scratch fest earlier today and now my face looks ten times worse. I woke up yesterday thinking things were looking better and turning around. Only to be duped once again. It's so unpredictable and back and forth. I feel as if things are going to take a turn for the worse very soon. It breaks my heart. All I can do is weather the storm and hope for the best.
May the storm be over sooner than not and bring brighter days.
No comments:
Post a Comment