My First Withdrawal.

I haven't written here in so long.  I'm terrible at keeping up with blogs, however I am going to try and maintain it this time.  As stated in my About Me I am going through topical steroid withdrawal (TSW).

This is my second time going through this, per se.  The first time I didn't know I was going through withdrawal, I just thought my body was detoxing.  Luckily, I was only bad the first couple months, and even so it wasn't that bad comparatively to other people going through this.  It was summer 2011.  My skin was red, itchy, and flakey, but somehow I was able to live a relatively normal life throughout this time period.  I was working part-time and exercising every few days outside, running/jogging/walking.   By October, my skin had calmed down drastically and my skin continued to heal and see improvements until about May 2012.   Slowly my skin started to deteriorate again.  I was itchy, had pink blotches on my face and legs, etc.  It wasn't until the end of July that things turned ugly. The back of my knees were terribly affected by the TSW.  They were raw, red and oozing.  I could barely walk due to the pain.  It worsened and I was at my wits end as to why this was happening, trying all sorts of supplements and such, looking into my diet, etc.

By the beginning of August, it had become full body.  I would wake up with my eyes swollen slightly.  I couldn't function.  I couldn't sleep, but I couldn't get out of bed due to the exhaustion.  I was having terrible anxiety.  Heart racing.  Chills.  Swollen lymph nodes.  I really thought something terrible was wrong with me.  Hence my decision to call a dermatologist.  Something I detested having to do.   I decided to go to a new one, Dr. P (relatively speaking, I had not seen her since I was in middle school).

I went in, looking and feeling absolutely miserable.  Dr. P looked at me in awe, said I was the worst case of eczema she's seen in ten years.  I explained to her my past.  How I've used topical and oral steroids ineffectively for years.  How I truly believed they were not the answer because my eczema always got worse afterwards (specifically Prednisone).   How I stopped using them last year and my skin got better.   Etc.   However, she said this was just how my skin is.  I had severe atopic eczema, there was no rhyme or reason for the way my skin behaved.  She prescribed Triamcimalone for my body and Desonide for the face, along with a few days of Prednisone, Atarax and antibiotics.  In addition, she told me I would eventually need to go on stronger meds to maintain normal skin.  I believe it was Methotrexate we discussed.  When I was 15, I was put on Cyclosporin for almost a year so this was not something shockingly new to me.  We set a time to meet in a few days and I was on my way, feeling dejected.  However I believed (at the time) I had done the right thing seeing her, since I was in such bad shape.

When I went home with my prescriptions, I dealt with an inner battle of what to do about the steroids.  My biggest issue was with the Prednisone.  I have been on Prednisone too many times to count since I was about 10 or 11.  Honestly I'm afraid to know how many times I've been on it as I know it was frequent from ages 11-15 and then several times again at 22.  After that I was hospitalized during a major flare.  This is when they put me on cyclosporin.  I was seeing a new dermatologist, Dr. K.  I really liked him.  I knew he looked extensively into my case.  Although they put me on Prednisone when I was in the hospital, afterwards they told me I should never go on them again.  Something I took to heart.

To be continued.